seasoning.

blisters heal

into tougher skin

and I believe

that I am stronger

i am not

it tears

and i bleed

not only my hands

and heels

but also

in my head

i realize

that i am broken

far too late

the scars remain

inside

and out

as i wither

into my winter

and my blood slows

i can only hope

for a fertile spring

so i may bloom

again

in my stasis

i am tortured

from the damage

of what i have done

and the guilt

of what i haven't

the years get

shorter

despite

the days growing

longer

questions asked

never answered

and still

tomorrow

becomes

today

...

shy.

you see clear through me

i can feel it

i'm just an outline

a silhouette

what color traces me?

i see a halo around you

i can't help

but to lower my eyes

for a moment

it's just too much

but it's so

beautiful

you're so

beautiful

and your flaws

are flawless

as it should be

i am only smart enough

to see

how stupid i am

but

for some reason

i feel safe

at this moment

because your smile

tells me

my thoughts are pure

there is no smoke

no haze

no mirrors

and as we connect

i am wishing

that this dream

will never end

...

the acme.

all together

at once

it happens

every sense

heightened

and sensitive

a welcome

overwhelming

showing you colors

you’ve never seen

a warm breath

in your ear

sends a bolt of electricity

down your spine

and out to every tip of you

soft lips on your neck

draw bumps on the skin

sounds with perfect tones

flood the heart with blood

and it may just pound

right out of your chest

sweat tastes sweet

scents embrace you

and you feel

so alive

it’s almost too much

but it’s just enough

there is no fear

there is no hatred

no thoughts

of yesterday

or tomorrow

only

beauty

freedom

pure life

true love

better than any dream

could ever be

more intense

and wonderful

than you ever thought

you could know

and although

we could live

forever

in these moments

we all must go home

and as we head back

to the valley

to the static of life

that time creates

we are left

with the truth

of knowing

that this feeling

exists

and the romantic hope

that we may

someday

feel it

again

…

cents for senses.

think of what you've got

ideas

beliefs

pennies paid

for thoughts worth

millions

and all those

that never left you

too many to count

they never stop

like the current

or the wind

keeping you afloat

even when you rest

it continues

sometimes

even more so

cry out to be heard

to be felt

to be understood

the confusion

numbs you

the spinning

sickens

and your life

draws circles

how much control

do you have?

who understands you

but everyone

in their own

language

and who knows the cost?

you're offered

pennies

...

lost.

you are right here

right there

why can't i see you?

my shadow

i can smell you

i can hear you

you're not far at all

are you laughing?

smiling?

i can't see

you're not that far away

and i'm reaching out

in the wrong direction

just missing you

what is wrong with me?

like a dream

i am drawing you in my mind

are you real?

or just a memory

come to life?

is this your way

of telling me

i'm not good enough?

or is it

just me

telling myself?

i am getting

desperate

show yourself

let me see

let me know

could it be true?

has my time passed?

tell me

touch me

do something

please

before the clock runs out

and it's too late

put out your hand

let me touch you

let me feel you

touching me

i need to know

if you're real

or

is it

over

forever

...

fall and withstand.

my name

is nothing more

than an address

mirrors

are useless

because my eyes

lie

so i try not to look

nothing is as it seems

and we believe

what we choose to

the underground

is dark

i listen

i hear sounds

but the silence

tells me so much more

when it is quiet

i hear my own

screams

it gets cold

and i shiver

thinking of flame

will not work

i need to start a fire

because

we survive

at any and all cost

we can afford

until we are

taken

even when we want

 to give up

we don't.

we can't.

fall

get back up

catch your breath

do it again

...

trauma drama.

we went over the wall

and fell too far

hurling ourselves into

tomorrow

the jagged

ground below

sharp and slick

gave us nothing

but blood

we kissed poison lips

and turned green

with regret

thinking it would kill us

hoping it would be

sooner

than later

deafened by the ringing

in our ears

from the things

they are saying

blinded by the glare

of their envy

if they want our scars

they can have them

captured and tortured

no one will read

your death note

chased down and slaughtered

no one will hear mine

somehow

we lived

somehow

we survived

but we'll never be the same

thank goodness

...

inspire me.

inspiration

you may surprise yourself

what comes out of you

when you least expect it

a little voice

a sharp tone

that's when

it happens

try to hold it

try to keep it

but you gotta

let it go

you gotta

let go

it won't always be

not every time

and sometimes

few

and

far

between

but

it's in you

it's inside

filling you

and then

before you know it

you burst

and at that moment

nothing matters

and

it doesn't matter

who may have seen

or

who may have heard

you're changed

you've changed

these are the moments

we live for

it's the in-betweens

that make us

squirm

and doubt

and make us think

that we may not be living

up to our end

of the bargain

and that time

is our enemy

forget about it

our best

is yet to come

remember

that failure

isn't an option

even when

it becomes

an outcome

stand with me

do what you do

and

inspire me

...

this time, a rhyme.

you came to me

with your mother's eyes

and you're father's lies

and as i stood

you stole the good

from me

never asking

basking

in everything i own

and all i've ever known

to be

i scream your name

through storms of flame

begging and pleading

short of breath

bleeding

please

what am i to do

i gave myself to you

and who would think

that in this minute

i'd see my future

and not be in it

as i fade

i see your face

grinning

winning

full of grace

...

your best kept.

your best kept secret

begs to be set free

and be known

as the mystique

grows

and small leaks

spring

right under my nose

and under your breath

do you have

something i want?

as the ransom

increases...

could this change my life?

dare i brave to ask

i wonder...

is the time right?

i want to be in your club

my skin is itching

please

share with me

whisper in my ear

this may bring us

closer

but i won't know

until i know

you can have anything

or everything

i have

before i explode

tell me

give me

what you've got

...