i can feel a turning
a repetition
it's like a tide
i've felt it before
although i am not sure
if this tide is coming in
or going out
i've been wrong
blind and lost
i feel it constantly
and as i am living
i know it
i was never in denial
i was never indifferent
i've just never known
what to do
i am lonely
i can accept that
this tide
this wave
is in tune to whether i feel
that my loneliness
is a good thing
or a bad thing
i grind away
and wonder endlessly
i become fatigued
i start drawing lines
i shy away
i let it hurt and burn me
my love is always present
it's always in my heart
but i grow tired
and each time
i feel older
because i am older
this time no one held me
this time no one loved me
i so badly want to disappear
but i hang on
i wait
hoping that one day
i'll figure it out
before i am too far away
before i lose touch
before i run out of time
waiting for the next tide
...
