Friday, June 24, 2011


i have a brother
a true friend
i will talk to anyone
but when it comes to my brother
i can say anything
i trust
without hesitation
never a single moment of doubt
and i know for a fact
he feels the same
i consider myself very fortunate 
we would fight 
over who would take the bullet
to save the other
i know he will read this
and know it is about him
after the very first line
i feel so strongly
about just how important this is to me
that i can write this
for all to see
with both pride and honor
i am grateful.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


who will you turn to
when you are at last ready to admit
that you need help
where will you go
where your tears won't become
a hailstorm
will you claim 
that your beating was unfair
though it will not matter
right or wrong
good or bad
it never matters
and you know it
but still
you will fight
an imaginary foe
new wounds
next to old scars
gained on the same battlefield
on which you raised yourself 
and every adversary
shares your very face
they keep coming
this stubborn Pavlovian experiment
you've cast on yourself
begs you to realize
it's futility
so tell me
now that you've decided
that no one can be trusted
and your full-grown ego tells you
that you are the only one
and that no one could possibly understand...
such arrogance
keeps you well hidden
your fear of being vulnerable
will always win
until you let go
and let yourself

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Stir Crazy.

i don't even want the things i want tonight
so there are no answers
just dull thudding
sullen shades normally calming
are boring
and these nights never end
all i can hear
is the pulse from my temple on a pillow
it reminds me of walking through snow
as a child
the same bizarre image
as far back as i can remember
it never happened
like so many other things
countless cycles to break
before it's all over
the same conversation
i have with myself
over and over
the great debate
can never end
while i have breath
as blood and air move
no matter how still i may lay
i remain.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Let Go.

you ask me to believe
you want me to believe
dare i could i wish i could even think
that you would care
so much about
the difference between
truth and dishonesty

before i go into
before i give it
before i let it
get the best of me

you know how much it takes
it takes it takes it takes
you've seen what it does to me
you've seen it

but still and still you ask me
believe believe believe believe
and you know i want to see
you know how bad i want to hear
to see it hear it feel it

you know just how fucking badly

so before i swallow
before i take it take it take it take it
before i push it in
i hope for once in your miserable life

if you can possibly believe in me

let go.