shells.

from the suburbs

to the cities

the air is

thicker

and smells like

smoke

loud cracks

and pops

and so much more

often

turning the skies

more grey

flashes of light

like a violent

storm

we wish for the children

to collect beautiful

memories

jars with

fireflies

and seashells

but it seems

they will collect

instead

shells of a different kind

and rather than compare

colors

and shapes

they will compare

calibers

and their childlike wonder

will question

where did they

come from

and where did all

those bullets

go

...

gravity.

i saw you again

last night

in a dream

you were just

as beautiful

as you ever were

and i

was just

as ugly

i heard your voice

i could smell you

and i could swear

i saw colors

i don't know where

or when

it was

the only familiar

feeling

was that we were in

the same room

the only thing

that seemed real

was you

but i know better

i told you

that i love you

you tried

but you could not

say it to me

the same 

desperate feeling

i have

all the time

wanting you

needing you

knowing that

i cannot

and never will

have you

again

we never touched

not even one kiss

you smiled

i cried

and as i woke up

alone

all that was real

were the tears

rolling from my eyes

and off of

my chin

...

in real time.

someday

the clock will stop

for you and i

and there will be

no more time

we don't

and won't

see it coming

what kind of memories

are we making?

are they

what we want?

we have more to give

than we know

and as we think

of better days

to come

or gone by

we see past

today

right now

to love

is to spend

to hate

is to waste

what are we waiting for?

what will change

tomorrow?

what happened

yesterday

is gone

so

let it be

forgotten

if you have it

if you feel it

then give it

don't be afraid

don't let your words

go unsaid

don't let your love

go unfelt

unshared

our fear

will turn us

to dust

but right now

in this very moment

we live

forever

...

seasoning.

blisters heal

into tougher skin

and I believe

that I am stronger

i am not

it tears

and i bleed

not only my hands

and heels

but also

in my head

i realize

that i am broken

far too late

the scars remain

inside

and out

as i wither

into my winter

and my blood slows

i can only hope

for a fertile spring

so i may bloom

again

in my stasis

i am tortured

from the damage

of what i have done

and the guilt

of what i haven't

the years get

shorter

despite

the days growing

longer

questions asked

never answered

and still

tomorrow

becomes

today

...

shy.

you see clear through me

i can feel it

i'm just an outline

a silhouette

what color traces me?

i see a halo around you

i can't help

but to lower my eyes

for a moment

it's just too much

but it's so

beautiful

you're so

beautiful

and your flaws

are flawless

as it should be

i am only smart enough

to see

how stupid i am

but

for some reason

i feel safe

at this moment

because your smile

tells me

my thoughts are pure

there is no smoke

no haze

no mirrors

and as we connect

i am wishing

that this dream

will never end

...