sitting in the dark
feeling like a child
wishing for tears
to wash away
some of the pain
from anger
to shame
it's never easy
and it's my fault
my escape
was to become my fear
backed into corners
we survive
even if it makes life
worse
hit and pitched
now ugly
and unwanted
once touched
now broken forever
and some choices
are too hard to make
bruised blue
and cold
they saw great things for me
i made them eat their words
i never saw any future
i never saw a place
i never found a home
i found suffering
i found loneliness
and all the hate i felt
i felt towards myself
how could you love me
when i've never loved me
it makes sense
i crawled into it
the only place
i've ever known
i remain
...
