buried.

there are things about me

that you'll never know

it's not that i wouldn't tell you

but i'm quite certain

you'll never ask

such ugly questions

so many important moments

so many

beautiful experiences

missed

leaving shotgun holes

in my life

while i was being foolish

making choices

i didn't want to make

making mistakes

ruining everything

and now time is having

it's way with me

i've learned to smile

a little

to find some happiness

in the little warmth

afforded to me

i don't know

whether i deserve it

or not

perhaps i'm numb

although

there is always pain

always suffering

it's always there

and there is no going back

maybe that's why

sad songs

make me feel

comfortable

maybe that's why

i can be thankful

for the small things

because i know

they are all

i'll ever have

...