progressive lonliness.

i have issues

inside

issues with issues

and even though it's old

and i am old

it never fades

and some things

never change

and no one cares

and i get it

because i want to not care

too

i don't know where i am

and each tide takes me

further out

into lostlessness

thinking i will die alone

will always hurt

it always hurts

knowing i will die alone

frees me from hurting you

because it's easier

if you don't love me

not for me

almost

but for you

for sure

it's been so long

and the last time wasn't real

or so i was told

or so i remember

or so it seems now

things are passing by

and i am still clueless

i'm not sure if i can function

and perhaps

i am the last to know

being alone

might be the only thing

i am doing right
...