i was just wondering...

i was sitting alone...

i do that sometimes...

random thoughts.

disturbing thoughts i'm fighting to overcome...

then i was wondering...

do you know i'm alive?

do you know i am here?

could you be sitting alone like i am?

what are the chances...

i could be on your mind?

it's silly - i know.

but to clear my mind as best i can,

i must let my thoughts roam freely,

selfishly at times,

selflessly at times.

i could put my arms around you

and pull you into myself

and pull myself into you.

if you asked me to - i would never let go.

i would fight to my very last breath,

just to see you smile.

if i can make you smile,

my day is made

my month, my week, my year...

my life...

would gain meaning.

silly - i know... to you...

but to me,

it means everything.

i have given myself away

many times...

and i've been tossed away like garbage,

but i don't care.

when i give myself to you,

i am ready for whatever you may do.

you are free to do what you will.

i can only hope

deep in my heart

that you may embrace me...

but that is just a wish

not an obligation. 

just as you are free to cast me away

i am free to stay beside you...

for as long as i can.