ascetic smile.

i no longer need

your compassion

your attention

your

love

it's been too long

and it's hurt too bad

and it's gotten too messy

and too ugly

and too unattainable

i don't need it

and i don't want it

anymore

i survived

i lived on hope

and dreams

for so long

that they finally broke

and i was already

broken

now

i am just numb

i found a new way to live
a new way to suffer

i found simplicity

this pain is new

and refreshing

and it may just keep me

away from all of those

memories

and reminders

all of those things

that killed me

so many times

but somehow

i am here

somehow

i learn to live

with myself

and although it gets

lonelier

it doesn't hurt

quite as bad

anymore

...