damn tonight, damn this whole year.

i don't care who knows

and i don't care what anyone thinks

except a few

i've been to the edge

in fact...

i've fallen over

and been hanging

by breaking fingernails

only to either

crawl my way back onto the ledge

or be pulled back up

by someone i love

but

i don't want
or need
 your

sympathy

or even your empathy

i'm just saying

i've been there

turning 41 soon

started promising careers

that didn't work out

relationships

two marriages

one in young

crazy days

but there was love

then

one a bit later

and man...

did i love that gal...

but so what?
they are over now
and gone.

no more grandparents

no father

my mother

i love her

but she is struggling

a lot like i am

no one but a few

friends that are

as much my family

as anyone could be

like you

and you

i've made mistakes

and i do have regrets

but this is not the point...

when life is at it's peak

up or down

good or bad

we tend to live in the moment

as... i feel

it should be

but what do i know?

i'm just another

another broken down,

but still living, man

like so many of you

but i am not afraid

to let you know

to tell you more

than just the good

or cool things

i've done and seen

i've spent more time

on the floor

shattered

than i ever did standing

and it doesn't matter

because all attempts to reach out

are painful

and

because everyone has a life

with all it's failures

and troubles

i know this sounds

foolish

and feeble

but i don't care

it's how i feel

tonight

...