Friday, January 25, 2013

forever yours.

i think about you
every single day
you've been in my blood
you've been in my heart
and in and through my brain
having to fight
the mere thought of you
takes a piece of me
all day
all night
even in my dreams
you appear
i struggle for you
i fight for you
i fight you
it's been harder than
i ever imagined
to keep you away
and not seek you out
i purse my lips
i close my eyes
i clench up inside
wait for the times
to change
for the moments to pass
i know
you'll be in my head again
and again
it doesn't
and never did matter
whether or not
i want you there
or not
i am your slave
even when you aren't with me
you haven't been near me
or even
in my grasp
for so long
but still
you seem so real
in my dreams
in my thoughts
you are ingrained in me
and it makes me feel
like i've already died
like i've already used
even just the thought of
to kill myself
over and over again
i have this feeling
that it will never stop
never cease
it's haunting
and i am to blame
because i fell in love with you
and letting go
of true love
seems impossible
can it even happen?
can it?
i don't want to know
i need to know
can i get you
out of my mind
out of my life
or not?

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